HYSMW Keepers, or Lack Thereof

Where’sMyWieters going to have a hard time picking his keepers.  Not because there are many choices, but because there are so few.  Who would you choose out of this group?

• “Legendary”/future centerfielder/3rd best SS in NY
• .325 OBP wiz OF on the worst team in the AL East
• #~10 1B/concussbot real Canadian canadian
• one hit wonder from the north
• Prospect C aka “bust of the century”
• Constantly underachieving 3B on the worst team in baseball
• #1 pitcher from 2003 draft
• 15/30 OF with a .320 OBP

And those are the best 8 options.  phew.

#1 Justin Morneau

Justin Morneau is wisely prepping for his career following his next concussion.  What a pussy.  I thought Canadian canadians were supposed to be tough.  Closer investigation revealed his gf/wife/slampiece is not bad looking, so he is probably gay.  wife

#2 Jose Bautista

Is this guy for real?  What is with that beard.  Here is a link to Jose Bautista’s player page

#3 Ryan Zimmerman

This looks a lot worse with Bautista already capable of filling the 3B spot.  And he is about 1/2 as good.  Oooooooo, defense.  Whatever.  Here is generally what I think of Ryan Zimmerman.

Huge dropoff after the top 3.

Pick the next three out of a hat and have fun finishing in 7th place:

Jones – 3 OF I would rather have?  Carlos Lee, Jason Bay, Michael Bourn.  Oh yeah, and they all suck.

Santana – will his arm fall off?  75% yes.  And his team sucks.  Terrible.  F.

Jeter – ahahhhahahahhaaha

Wieters – invented AIDS

Victorino – see Jones, Adam, above, add some counting stats, subtract some talent.

Bold Predictions of 2010

Manny Ramirez – .250 hitter

Ryan Franklin > Chad Qualls

Kershaw not as awesome as last year (but still pretty good)

Brett Gardner 50+ SB

MonterosMorningWood – will finish 10th

2009′s First Lastings Milledge Update

Lastings Milledge is sad.  This is because he is now playing baseball in Syracuse. The future Hall of Famer will be busy not hustling and showing up late for meetings for the Syracuse Chiefs.

The Nationals also managed to finally win a game last night, probably because they didn’t have Lastings and his .231 OBP at the top of the lineup.

The All-Photogenic Team:

Yahoo! has some great headshots in its fantasy baseball player pool. Larger versions of many of these pictures can be found on mlb.com, but Selig has apparently decided to clean up a few of them (Adam Jones, I’m looking in your direction). Here are a few of the good ones:

Smile for the camera, and try not to let any of that massive lipper dribble out.

Lastings Milledge Update VI

 

Well, Lastings did not like the fact that RA Dickey Dicks dropped him, and his tears certainly softened his performance. Our favorite 23-year-old has continued to slump. He’s now on pace to hit .252 with a .322 OBP, only 4 HRs, among 40 Extra Base hits, with 61 Runs Scored, 45 RBIs, and 12 steals, along with 106 ks and 45 walks.  (PS- his signature looks resembles a 4-year-olds) He’ll need to get hot soon if he’s going to make baseball people say the deal that sent Ryan Church and Brian Schneider to the Mets was a poor decision by Omar Minaya. Church is currently the Mets best hitter as Carlos Beltran, Carlos Delgado, and David Wright continue to slump, while Jose Reyes is not living up to his best with the bat. Schneider, meanwhile, is handling the pitching staff well, and has been successful throwing out baserunners. 

-Lastings Milledge will be the next NFL franchise in Los Angeles. They/He will start play in 2015.

10 Thoughts Regarding the Last Week+ in Fantasy Baseball

1. Wicked Obnoxious is currently 27 points behind me. There’s still a lot of season left, and he typically makes his charge in July/August, so I need to stay on top of fantasy. Fortunately for this season, the world entire world of finance is shut down, handing me ample time to do research.

2. Gene Watson has a lot of angry fans that come to his defense. Many of them look like this. I listened to some of his music last night, having never heard of him and downloaded a couple songs. It’s OK. Don’t see why anyone would get so riled up though. Plus, I was responding to this guy and assumed that he was actually referring to this obscure Gene Watson.

3. Apparently, I am depressedand need extra prozac. That was a funny comment.

Real Men of Genius: Mr. Anonymous Angry Blog Reactor Guy

Today we salute you, Mr. Anonymous Angry Blog Reactor Guy.

(Mr. Anonymous Angry Blog Reactor Guy)

You alone must protect your opinions at all cost… by furiously banging them out on the keyboard.

(Let’s check out who insulted Gene Watson today? HE’S GOT A LOT OF NERVE. Who cares what his blog’s about anyway?)

While you sit in your mother’s basement, you make sure you play the part. Sweatpants? Check. Plumber’s crack? Check. Heaping plate of jalapeno poppers? Check.  

(Maaa! The meatloaf!?!?!?!)

The only thing standing in your way from anonymous glory is the pesky enter button you hit so hard it ended up behind the couch.

(It’s OK, who needs paragraphs? CAPS-lock will demonstrate my superior grammar.)

So crack open a bud light, because in all likelihood, your Dad just came home so you could use a buzz while he yells at your fat ass for being worthless. And he probably just ate your meatloaf.

(Mr. Anonymous Angry Blog Reactor Guy)

 

 

Fantasy Notes/Thoughts from the First 6 Weeks

1. Curtis Granderson is off to an awesome start in his first 14 games. However, he’s not this good. If he plays 135 games this season (he missed 21 to start the season), he’s on pace to hit 48 HRs with 95 RBIs and 125 runs scored, and to steal only 10 bases. He’s also on pace to strike out only 100 times, while posting a 1:1 BB:K ratio. This is a guy that fanned 174 times in 2006 and 141 times in 2007, while walking 118 time in the two years (including 14 fewer walks in 2007 than 2006). While I don’t think it’s ridiculous for him to post a drop in Ks this year, he doesn’t have the plate discipline to post a huge increase in walks this season. The guy has started on a hot streak, but the cold streaks will come too. Also, he’s not going to score almost 1 run per game played, even in the Tigers offense. That’s as ridiculous an expectation as the leadoff hitter driving in nearly 100 runs.

2. Nate McLouth is good, but his stats in the first month or so are obnoxious. He’s on pace to score 150 Runs, hit 44 HRs and drive in 136 (!!) while stealing only 15 bases.

Curtis Granderson: Finally Fairly Valued

http://sports.espn.go.com/fantasy/baseball/flb/story?page=tmr080505

Behind both Corey Hart and Nick Markakis.

 

Post-Draft Review: The Rest

Since it’s Cinco de Mayo, and the season (in America) began back in the last week of March, I think it’s time to just rip through the last 3 teams, Angry Anteaters, Cy Hughesand Jeff Kent’s Mustache. I’ll start with Jeff Kent’s Mustache.

Mustache had OK keepers, excluding Orlando Cabrera, but his draft was hampered by looming med school exams. His LA bias was apparent from the very first pick: Brad Penney at the 3rd pick in the 7th round. Then came questionable picks Mike Lowell in the 8th and James Loney in the 9th.