Da Jesus


Mark Teixiera, Joe Mauer, Grady Sizemore, Bobby Abreu, Jose Valverde, Cole Hamels

The tenth and final team to be profiled this week is Da Jesus, whose 2007 iteration was glaringly concentrated in speed and saves. Unfortunately, his domination of those categories cost him several points in power, rbis, OBP, wins, ks, and WHIP. Somehow, with all the speed he still couldn’t put up a better finish than 10th in runs.  Based on the keepers, this team doesn’t look like it’s set to get much better.

Continue reading


Carlos Silva 40M


Carlos Pena, Dan Uggla, Ryan ZImmerman, Jason Bay, Justin Morneau, Johan Santana

With the draft only 18 days, 10 hours, and 50 minutes from now, we’ll turn to the team with the most factually incorrect name in the league – Carlos Silva’s obnoxiously large contract signed in offseason was for $48M, not $40M, over four years. Ignoring the name, Silva 40M had a very dissappointing 2007 season. Every one of Silva 40M’s first 9 draft picks underperformed vs. their 2006 numbers (Uggla and Sheets were basically on top of 2006, but I would consider them a slight decline), and that underperformance produced a much poorer performance than that team looked on paper post draft in 2007. The brightest spot was picking up Carlos Pena off waivers.

Continue reading

Sal Fasano Update #3


Following up on Fasano, how drunk does he look in this picture? You can be sure Tom Emanski didn’t teach him how to play drunk.

Adorable Baby Pandas


A-Rod, CC Sabathia, Eric Byrnes, Ichiro, Nick Markakis, K-Rod

Other than really liking the “rods”, Adorable Baby Pandas, who definitely wins the award for strangest fantasy name, put together a team that severely underachieved in the standings where its players certainly overachieved when compared to 2006.  In 2007, the team ended up speed heavy, neutral weight in pitching and weak on power, and contributed to a below average showing in the standings. Continue reading

40oz to Farney


John Lackey, Erik Bedard, Carlos Beltran, Derek Jeter, Garrett Atkins, Chone Figgins

In a very up and down season, 40oz to Farney found himself finishing on an upswing tied with the Cuddle Rapers in 2007. Farney also receives a nomination for funny team name, but falls well short of Cuddle Rapers in this blogger’s opinion. Farney’s 2007 season was marred by acquiring Ryan Freel in the middle of the season for Andruw Jones, and although Jones would not improve his dreadful first half, his power numbers would have helped break the tie for 6th. Despite that, acquiring Jeter from now defunct Scalia’s Spicy Sausage was a well timed trade prior to the league’s revelation that Sausage was simply attempting to acquire Cardinals. For 2008, Farney will face an uphill battle to land in the top 3, but that does not mean it isn’t acheivable. Continue reading

Sal Fasano Update #2


Sal Fasano is fundamentally sound. If he ever visits this site, Tom Emanski will pitch a tent while looking at this picture.

The Cuddle Rapers


Albert Pujols, Justin Verlander, Hideki Matsui, Matt Holliday, Jimmy Rollins, Scott Kazmir

And now, with only 20 days, 8 hours, and 35 minutes until the draft, we get to my pick for the best name in the league, The Cuddle Rapers. The Cuddle Rapers 2007 season was derailed by a lack of RBIs, steals, and saves. In only one other category did Rapers fall below 5th. However, in no category was Rapers better than tied for 3rd. That is quite a good team, just not a great team, and certainly not an awesome team.

Continue reading