Real Men of Genius: Worthless SB Specialists

Here’s to Mr. Slap Hitter, .296 OBP, 35 Stolen Base guy.

Although your pathetic hitting stats are a big drag on your teams overall production, your fantasy value is priceless.

So what if your OPS is less than .650? You were 35/55 in SB attempts.

So here’s to you Mr. Juan Pierre, Dave Roberts, and Willy Taveras. May your legacy last forever.


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League Update

Lecherous Goldenberg (formerly 40oz to Farney) is off to a good start, with 109 total points.

Can he hang on? Is this his year, after so many disappointing seasons, questionable trades, and mediocre waiver pickups?

With such a big lead, there is a good chance he will be able to hang on to the lead like Goldenberg’s grip on another cheeseburger.

The Dynasty Killas are in dead last place. Sure, he will tell you there is a lot of season left, but one has to wonder how this team will dig itself out of a big hole.

Real Men of Genius

Today, we salute you, Mr. Useless Major League Baseball Catcher. If you had a catcher whose career OPS was .751, has only hit more than 13 HRs in any season (averaging 7 HRs per year since 2001) and provides shoddy defense, would you enjoying watching that player on your favorite team? More to the point, what if his defense included increased percentages of successful basestealing attempts (catching less than 30% of attempted basestealers since 2003)? Continue reading

Jon Miller: Prototypical HOF Wingman


Jon Miller, radio voice of the San Francisco Giants and play-by-play man for ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball, is much more than a silky mic guy…his obvious potential as a world-class wingman has gone unnoticed for far too long… Continue reading

Lastings Milledge Update


Lastings opened the season in the Nationals-Braves “North American Opening Day 2008” as Joe Morgan dubbed it several times during the broadcast. Lastings batted second and went 0 for 4, with no walks, no RBIs, 1 K and 1 LOB. Currently, his stats project to a .000 BA, .000 OBP, no RBIs, 162 Ks, and 162 men left on base. At least he didn’t misplay a ball in the outfield, almost though. Also, Lastings has been traded since the picture was taken. Terrance Long wrote the first word of the invitation to Lastings to the “Over-Hyped Mets’ Outfield Prospects that were Busts for Other Teams” Club. Anxious to see when he completes it, attaches postage and how long it will take Lastings to accept the gracious membership offer.

Additionally, Lastings Milledge is not the next Willie Mays. Willie Mays is just a precursor to Lastings Milledge.

George W. Bush is the Best President Ever…


… at throwing out the ceremonial first pitch at baseball games. In light of opening day, I thought I’d point out that our president does do something well. The former owner of the Texas Rangers and current leader of the Free World (not the 313) has thrown out more ceremonial first pitches for major league games than any other president, and has looked more competent doing so than the other presidents. Hall of Famer Joe Morgan also mentioned that W is the best presidential ceremonial first pitch thrower ever, in between sentences of Joe Morgan inane banter. Take a look Continue reading

Sal Fasano Update #6

Sal old school

Sal was cut by the Blue Jays on March 25th. Sal was 0 for 9 this spring, but has an OBP of .438 and has scored two runs. He has also stolen a base. He has also grown a mustache since this picture was taken.

With 400 plate appearances, Fasano projects to a .000 Batting Average with 175 walks, 50 runs scored and 25 steals. Considering we use OBP instead of BA, Fasano looks like a top FA acquisition if he can get himself signed and the starter “opportunistically” gets hurt.

All in all, that’s about what we expect from a man of his magnitude. Even though he isn’t hitting well, he still finds a way to get on base and make things happen with his speed.