Lastings Milledge: The Second Coming of Willie Mays?


Lastings Milledge has provoked more than a few discussions this spring. His hype was quieted in the Mets’ front office as they traded him for less in return than they got for Xavier Nady, but significantly more than they got for Scott Kazmir. Lastings Milledge is a controversial player this spring on fantasy draft boards based an inability to value his expected performance. The Dynasty Killas were not willing to take a risk on him until the 17th or 18th round of the draft. However, RA Dickey Dicks took him in the 13th in a pick that was certainly risky, but taking risks is how fantasy championships are won.

Lastings Milledge may be the next coming of Willie Mays, hitting 500 HRs over the next 12 years, while stealing 400 bases, with more than three 40-40 seasons, with predictions of Chuck Norris-like feats on and off the field. Lastings Milledge will help open a new field in Washington DC instead of Ryan Church and Brian Schneider:


However, which Lastings Milledge will show up? Will it be the Lastings Milledge that made a huge splash in New York with a crowd pleasing high five barrage while rounding the bases after his first bomb.



Or will it be the Lastings Milledge that misplays balls near the green monster and generally plays like the second coming of Alex Escobar.



At least we all know that regardless of his performance on the field, Lastings Milledge will still have a job whether he’s 44 and a hall of famer, or 27 and a major league outcast as L-Millz: a rapper.


We won’t know what Lastings Milledge has in store for us this season, or in his career, be it baseball or rap, but we certainly know that this 22 year-old is certainly a man of many talents. Whether he’s successful using any of them, however, remains to be seen.

McJunk’s projection: Second coming of Terrance Long – serviceable for a few years but completely replaceable and not worth a free agent contract. Ends up signing a minor league contract at age 27 and retires from baseball as a huge disappointment one year later. Final stat line in the majors 400 games, 1270 ABs, .260 BA, 47 HRs, 140 RBIs, 65 SBs. His rap career ends by age 29 as it wasn’t worth starting. He’ll buy a few used car dealerships and probably go to jail for impregnating a 15 year old girl when he’s 34. However, his cell mate will be a former teammate to keep him company:



5 Responses

  1. Highlights from Lastings Milledge Quotes:

    2. Lastings Milledge wasn’t slapping fives with fans after his first big league homerun. He was healing lepers and cripples.

    15. Confucius quotes Lastings Milledge.

    19. A-Rod no longer has a crush on Derek Jeter. He is now obsessed with Lastings Milledge.

    24. Lastings Milledge is not the next Willie Mays. Willie Mays is just a precursor to Lastings Milledge.

    33. Lastings Milledge has his own dressing room because when Lastings Milledge changes, his manhood darkens the room and the other players aren’t able to get their uniforms on.

    36. Lastings Milledge ate Mike Tyson’s children.

    78. Lastings Milledge invented the whistle tips for car mufflers…Woot Woot!

  2. Lastings Milledge line for his first day in a Nationals uniform:

    3-3 with 2 HR, three steals, 5 RBIs, 4R.

    He will reach base on a HBP by Tim Hudson. After getting hit in the teeth, he will say “Is that the best you got sucka?” then steal 2nd, 3rd, and home on three consecutive pitches, punching Brian McCann in the balls as he slides in stealing home.

  3. Lastings Milledge’s retirement speech:
    Today I am ending my mediocre career to embark on my rap career. My career MLB stats were on par with those of Terrance Long.

  4. Nady 3/5 with a HR, 3R today

  5. I don’t know if you still check this blog, but I recently stumbled upon this and I would like to commend McJunk for his alarmingly accurate prediction of Lastings Milledge’s career arc

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